It amazes me what marriage has become in the last 30 or 40 years

It amazes me what marriage has become in the last 30 or 40 years

Grinnell's own (very early) spring fashion
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Where would you go for help with divorce? Well, in my opinion, I honestly see only two routes concerning this issue. The first one that most couple instantly dismiss is counceling. Why doesn’t anyone think this will prove beneficial? It very well could save your relationship. This could not only benefit you, but the children, if any, also. It basically comes down to whether or not you wish to work on things or start over with someone else. Obviously if you decide to start over with someone else, you are going to need help with divorce. Yes indeed, this is the second, and more popular option when it comes to a damaged relationship. Suddenly you’re splitting everything down the middle, including the children. This can get hairy to say the least. I should know, I was the child at age 5. The back and forth drama between my parents went on until I was 16 years old.

Before you acquire help with divorce regarding your marriage, I want you to consider something a very wise 19 year old said to me once. Now, I’m not going to lie, I was blown off my feet that something useful actually came out of the mouth of a 19 year old male. No offense, but I was one once, and there’s not a great deal useful going on upstairs yet. He was considering cheating on his girlfriend with a fellow college student. After he thought it out, he decided that it made no sense to toss his three year relationship in the garbage just to start a new one with another girl, who will be in the same spot a few years down the road. It’s wise to think ahead before attaining help with divorce and ending the marriage altogether.

Broken Homes, Broken Children

Broken Homes, Broken Children


According to the Center for Disease Control’s National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce.
With these kinds of statistics, and with all the problems and pain a couple goes through, why do people still want to get married?

Even though marriage receives so much bad press these days, walking the aisle is still a very popular exercise. After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured and secure. Getting married is still very much desired for all its promise of unconditional love and companionship.

But marriage is so much more than just the wedding ceremony or the honeymoon. It is more than just the intimacy and fun that every couple deserves. Marriage is also about building a family. Traditionally, raising children is part and parcel of a marriage partnership — a task that entails the provision of shelter, clothing, education, and love without which no child can live without. Just as couples want to feel they belong to a loving relationship, so do their children. It also goes without saying that if a marriage is broken, the children would be emotionally affected by it together with their parents. The effects of divorce on children are important to any good parent. But it’s not always easy, when a marriage is struggling and someone is hurting, parents should also consider what the specific effects of divorce will be on their children.

There have been many specific studies focusing on the effects of divorce on children. Studies show that children from a broken family are emotionally affected by the marriage breakup and they know that nothing will ever be the same again. They fear change. Not just that the mother or their father will not be around, but they may also lost contact with their extended family, or school routines may change.

Children have a fear of being abandoned. When parents are at odds and are either separated or considering separation, children have a realistic fear that if they lose one parent, they may lose the other. The concept of being alone in the world is a very frightening thing for a child.

Children who have a natural attachment to their parents also fear losing other secure relationships such as those they have with their friends, pets, siblings, neighbors, and so on. Sometimes children are simply attached to their surroundings, and moving into new surroundings can cause an understandable negative reaction. Divorce has also been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.

Academically, children are greatly affected because of their parents divorce or separation. Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate compared with children from “intact” families. They also have lower rates of graduation from high school and college. Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling and math.

Moreover, children of divorced parents are more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place. Anecdotal evidence points out that parental divorce and living in a single-parent household can influence a person to have thoughts of committing suicide. Drug use in children is lowest among those children who have been spared from the effects of parental divorce.

Even if there are have been tension and problems at home, some children will be shocked to learn that their parents are getting a divorce. It may take some time for them to acknowledge and accept that their lives will be different. To help a child cope with shock and stress, parents should be patient with them, ease into the new routines and living situations if possible and constantly express and reassure their love to them. Based on research, these are the top five reasons why people get married:

1. To signify a life-long commitment
2. To make a public commitment
3. To legalize their partnership or for financial security
4. To formalize their partnership as part of religious belief
5. To provide security for children.

But long after the celebration of the wedding and years after the honeymoon, when reality sets in, many marriages fail to survive. Despite all the happiness and joy that was shared between the man and the woman during the early years of marriage, they end up separated or divorced — placing their children’s security, health, and well-being at serious risk.

Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce

Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce

Today, many marriages are found to be ending in divorce. Marriage is a start of relation, while divorce is an end. After passing of few days or months of married, life, some conflicts and bitterness may get started. Sometimes, the couple began to think about the divorce.

However, divorce changes social trends and causes adverse effects for the both the partners. Hence, it is always recommended to save marriage stop divorce.

Marriage has a great importance in the life of every human being as it gives personal and social stability and it is also necessary to satisfy your emotional and physical needs. It may be essential to get the prestigious social status as living a single or getting separated is not accepted by the society in some countries.

It is not easy for a man or a woman to live alone whole life. After divorce, the individual may have to face physical, psychological and economical problems. The family life of the person is totally collapsed. Divorce also can cause sexual deprivation.

Separation or divorce of the parents affects a lot to the children. It may give rise to psychological problems which can affect the tender minds of children as they need both the parents equally. The children may get mentally and physically disturbed and feel insecure due to which their future may get spoiled. Looking towards these effects, you should strive to save marriage stop divorce.

It is not easy to keep the relationships alive, for that, you have to take some efforts. If you strongly wish to save marriage stop divorce, you should try to improve yourself. Some possible factors that can affect your relationships are the broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of sex and affection and lack of appreciation.

Once you know about the reasons, you should try to find out the options to solve them. The main reason for the divorce is a lack of understanding and compromises. Hence, you should give away your ego to maintain the healthy relationships and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life.

Self-assessment is a very important step to save marriage stop divorce which includes thinking about your mistakes. If you want to be a good partner, you should have a capacity to listen to your partner and understand him/her for which you need a good communication skill. You should be able to keep calm and talk through the problem. When your partner is talking with you, you should ask the related questions and clarify the queries.

If you both are not able to solve problems in your married life, you can consult your family or friends and seek an advice from them. You may realize your mistakes after talking with them and can try to correct them. If you don’t feel it satisfactory, you can try for marriage counseling. You may go to counselor’s office and find the solutions to save marriage, stop divorce.

Counseling can help the couples to improve their communication skills, to uncover some other problems or issues, find out the differences and understand the troubles. You can also go for a trial separation which gives the couple enough time for to think about their differences, their mistakes, problems in their married life and ways to resolve them.

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